[Originally published on MySpace on July 13, 2010.]
Life has always been interesting, but it’s been especially riveting since the beginning of this past December. Started the current era with a non-complimentary trip to the local ER, and thence to the ICU for a round of meningitis, during which time my mother decided to help pay the ensuing medical bills by kicking the bucket, thus freeing up much of her assets without having to sign any checks (Mom always did have a rather oblique comprehension of personal finance), so we burned her to a crisp and stuck her up on the mantel, had a spanking party to celebrate the day after my birthday, and then I recovered from my hospital stay just enough so that by the time Christmas rolled around I was barely able to deal with a round of stomach flu brought to us by my son while juggling last minute bare-shelf shopping amongst crowds of people having experienced the same sort of existence which is why they were out insanely haunting Wal-Mart at the same time as me. I can’t tell you how many people I saw in tears during THAT endeavor, and one of them might have been me except I didn’t have time to look in the mirror. Things mellowed out relatively after the new year, and I settled into the process of grieving while trying to reconfigure love from a perspective that didn’t require white picket fences and immortality (yes, I have been largely successful in that endeavor, though I had and have some amazing help). Went to New Orleans for five days in April, discovered that it IS possible to simulate the symptoms of meningitis using copious amounts of alcohol, spent the next several weeks in recovery from that, right after which I hit an inexplicable slow downward spiral in health and energy, culminating in a second, third, and fourth trip to several ER’s at the beginning of June before finally being admitted to the local ICU yet again with another round of meningitis and a distinctly improved sense of just what exactly is wrong with the US Health Care System, granted they did accidentally save my life. Got lucky and attracted the attention of a really sharp doctor who figured out that I have a genetic immune disorder which renders me nakedly vulnerable to bacterial infection, but that’s okay because so long as I have the bucks, I can take shots for the rest of my life and fight my body’s rejection of foreign proteins contained in said shots, although my sis recommends B vitamins. In the meantime, I finally regained a relative level of health just in the last few days, JUST in time for my son to get some kinda tummy bug (are we noticing a pattern here?). Barfed in his sleep starting last night at 11:00 pm. Hosed him off in the tub (had puke in his eyelashes), hosed myself off (puke in my hair and all down my back and left side), put him to bed in the guest room, cleaned up the mess in our room, my son barfed in the guest room, repeat. Kept it up until 6 am this morning. I have been washing sheets, bedding, pillows, carpets (cats crapped in our bedroom while I was in the garage doing laundry, but that’s okay because now I know what we’re having for dinner—anybody for Thai food?), shoes, towels, washcloths and undies all day long. Plus I’ve disinfected everything twice over. My hands are rotting off. Sent the ex back to Wal-Mart for 7-Up and laundry soap. Hopefully, I don’t get the two confused. And the hell with B vitamins, I want a flame thrower.
And so we arrive at this very moment in time, where I am able to take stock of my life to date. Here’s what I have to say:
IS THAT THE BEST YOU’VE GOT!?? No? Well. Bring it on.
Love all you guys. Really. Each of you, in your separate and unique ways, make it possible for me to be much more than okay. I wouldn’t trade that away for anything except more of the same.
Knock knock jokes are welcome, though. Hit me up. *grin*
8:27 PM 34 Comments 6 Kudos