Happy Mother’s Day

Milk and Cookies

You know, I don’t really have strong feelings for Mother’s Day. I never have, despite my own mother was my best friend, and that I myself am a mother–and I adore my son, right down to the ground. It just seems to me that having constructed motherhood into a social institution, once again innovation and variation are truncated, such that instead of developing authentic relationships with each other, people spend time struggling for an ideal while at the same time judging others for failing to achieve it.

That there’s a problem should be obvious, since there are myriad examples of “bad moms” out there, to say nothing of all the relationships between children and mothers that, while not considered abusive, are nonetheless inchoately unsatisfying to one or both parties in the relationship. To me this suggests that we are privileging a fetish over a more realistic understanding of human diversity–i.e., “mothering” is something that some people (not limited to women) are more inclined to do, while others are less so, being inclined in other ways. In fact, it may be that some are inclined to enjoy younger children, while others do better with children who are older. My OWN mother once told me she couldn’t stand any of the four us, my siblings and me, until each of us became old enough to carry on at least a basic conversation–before that point, the drudgery (to her) of childcare was unrelenting, isolated as she was in that role. This is not to say that she wouldn’t kill on our behalf, mind you–but THIS entails relationships with people in addition to her children. It does not speak to other than a rather limited, possibly even instinctual(?), empathy (though I don’t recommend trifling with it) in terms of just her children.

Or Else It Gets the Spoon Again

My mother would have been much better off, and possibly her children as well, if there were others who were at least more inclined to take value and satisfaction from the care of young children available to give her substantive breaks, and which, having eliminated the frustration and ennui of being solely responsible for 24/7 childcare, would have provided a less fraught potential for satisfying relationships–still including significant parenting– later on as her children developed.

It seems to me that a holiday that celebrates authentic relationships might be better. What would it be called, I wonder?

Happy It Takes A Village Day?

NONETHELESS, in view of the fact that we are each of us and all moving targets, my respect and admiration goes out to all who engage in the ongoing joys and sorrows of family life, and today, especially mothers.

Flowers and Chocolate

This entry was posted in Critical Thinking, Epistemology, Life, Mother's Day, Relationships, Sociology and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Happy Mother’s Day

  1. Well it would be poor for me to give advice for mothers – but as a son I can say that time spent with mom can’t have some bullshit material value assigned to it, and neither can some blind scientism miscreant devalue it with their pathetic drone born of misery – Time is a poorly understood construct of humanity, and though it ONLY exists within a dumbed down devalued sense of richardandsam “now,” it is still to precious to waste with casualties of “war.”

    I’ll give mom another hug if and when she returns from evening service – and I’ll thank God she taught me that two legged idiots are just that – despite what the pseudo wise call them.

    • Thea says:

      It’s okay to love your Mom, Todd. The blog above deals more with a dynamic of isolating people in roles. What you’re talking about has to do with a child’s view of what’s expected of them based on the idea that parents are somehow demi-gods instead of actual people who, while they might have your best interests at heart, are not always the best judge of the way(s) for you to go about fulfilling that best interest.

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